To Thine Own Self Be Zoo
Vol. IV No. 2
Summer Solstice 2026

CONTENTS:
[1] A Multiversal Analysis on the Constancy of Bestiality
[2] So Transgressive and So Relaxed About Everything
[3] Fam Tree
[4] A Lyric




[1]

A Multiversal Analysis on the Constancy of Bestiality

1. There in the desert I then walked through a marketplace crowded
shoulder-to-shoulder where human slaves were given to animal
prostitutes to engage in sexual acts. Often directly out in the
open, though sometimes inside of tents of thin materials, human
men penetrated primarily donkeys (both jacks and jennies) though
by no means was all of this relegated to only human men and only
donkeys. Any act of bestiality that could be imagined, I warrant
that you could find it being acted upon at this market, for sale,
the human slave owners giving payment to the human animal owners
for the act. I did not take it that any party, slave, animal, or
owner, particularly gleaned enjoyment from these practices. The
nature of it seemed, if anything, spiteful, angry, malintentioned.
I cannot emphasize enough that there were tens of thousands of
humans present here, and that prostitution of animals to human
slaves was the entire purpose to which all of them were gathered.
I do not know what to make of it.

2. The wolf chuckled, ho ho ho! With my ears, I will hear the
slightest twig snapping or grass rustling under your oafish human
feet. Wherefore, bind up my ears as well, wrap cloth about my head
such that my ears are pressed flat, and I scarce should hear you.
The human did so. The wolf guffawed, ah-haw-haw-haw! With my nose,
I will surely smell your trail no matter how far you go, across
valleys and hills, even at a wide river I shall merely find out
your trail again on the other side, running about on my swift legs
around and around from where your trail was known last. Wherefore,
bind up my nose as well, drape a cloth upon my head entirely, such
that my nose is all confined, and I scarce should smell through
it. The human did so. The wolf snickered, krr-keh-keh-keh!, for as
the human was distracted so, the wolf's mate was at the human's
house, sexually pleasuring the human's wife.

(Excerpts, 1: Walker R. Kansson's diary 601-34-4444-542944,
1703/04/02. 2: A Fable From Earsin, "The Fable of the Woodsman's
Wife".)

In the vast reaches of the multiverse, more variance can be seen,
both in small details and in the fundamental macro nature of
things, than the imagination unbidden would have reason to come up
with, for the difference between one universe and another may be
so mundane as to be effectively boring, or may be so drastically
different as to be utterly impractical to consider in terms of
what it means for one's own universe, for it truly is a comparison
of utterly no use, the one universe is so different from the other
that lessons in one cannot be usefully applied to the other. There
are universes where humans are primarily left-handed and universes
where humans are primarily right-handed. There are universes where
humans speak different languages as in another similar universe,
but where, indeed, the similarities are otherwise in lockstep,
evolution has otherwise played out and history has otherwise
played out the same way in one universe as in another, sometimes
even down to the effectively identical individual humans and
animals existing in one universe and in another, only bearing
different vocabulary. There are, also, universes primarily
occupied with empty space and universes primarily occupied with
filled space. There are universes with discrete multicellular
biological organisms, there are universes with megamacro
biological organisms, there are universes with ethereal lifeforms,
there are universes with symbolic lifeforms only, and the list
goes on. There are universes rigidly ruled by formal logic 1 and
there are universes rigidly ruled by formal logic 2 and there are
universes rigidly ruled by formal logic 3, and there are universes
ruled by strange logic, and there are universes ruled by spiral
logic, and there are universes ruled by fiat. There are not
infinitely many universes. There are many universes. They are
discrete, countable, finite. The number of universes is a large
integer, but it is, keyly, an integer. There are not "no rules."
The nature of the multiverse does not support an argument of
"There are infinitely many versions of meaning, ergo, there is no
meaning, there are no lessons, there is nothing to know." There
are many versions of meaning; There are many lessons; There are
many things to know; But there are not infinitely many of all of
these; There are, for all the vast variances, also vast
consistencies. Nothing, in the multiverse, is more consistent than
the presence of bestiality. Some things are equally consistent
with the presence of bestiality. Nothing is more consistent.

Here listed are some things equally as consistent in a universe as
bestiality, which is to say, they are present in every universe:

1. There is something rather than nothing.
2. Jesus Christ The Savior.
3. There is a representation of sapience and a representation of
   non-sapience.
4. There is a representation of sexuality.

The last two, frankly, could be interpreted reasonably as mere
operands, stepping stones, to arrive at the actually consistent
thing, which is the presence of bestiality.

Here listed are things less often observed in a universe than the
presence of bestiality:

1. Formal logic.
2. Euclidean or near-Euclidean space.
3. Time.
4. A representation of the concept of morality.
5. Literal life, e.g. literal biological organisms.
6. Music.
7. Alcohol.
8. Cannabis.
9. Predation.
10. Sport or indeed any form of trial.
11. Money.
12. A consistent name or names for Jesus Christ, if a universe
   allows for naming to begin with.

There is an example of all of the above on display that I find to
be deeply cutting in its directness, its minimalism. I will quote
from the observations made by one of the premier scholars on
multiversal observation, Benjamin Tan Vel:

3. I observed a platform suspended in nothing and unmoving in
time; This universe consisted of only this platform and that
little which was atop it; I say "little" only in reference to
quantity, amount, not "little" as a judgment of the value
contained in the amount, you understand. The platform, if imagined
in my universe's rules for dimension, would be a flat platform, no
more than 3 meters by 3 meters (in fact this universe did not,
even distantly, abide by my universe's rules for dimension, and
all points in this space existed within all other points of space,
a claim which I know is so outlandish as to be laughable, but I
will elaborate on it later, to the best of my ability, and I think
my justification for describing it as such will be nakedly
apparent in its intended meaning, even if other persons may
conclude with some other way to describe the sense of space here
observed; The space was finite and discrete but was
comprehensively interconnected, is the best I can do to summarize
for now). What I observed atop this platform was all nameless but
all identifiable. What I observed atop this platform was a statue
of a human man and a demonic canid engaged in copulation; The
demonic canid was mounted atop the man as a dog mounts another
dog, and the demonic canid was using a phallus to penetrate the
man in a way that nearly resembled how one might be penetrated
anally, though the demonic canid was in fact penetrated through
the man's very existence; The unmissable fact at hand was that the
demonic canid's penis and the man's penis overlapped in space, the
two existed at the same points in a way that would not be possible
by my own universe's rules for dimension, and yet, here it was.
There was one other statue, besides that which depicted
bestiality; The other statue, I warrant the more important statue
though I have less to say on its description, depicted Jesus
Christ, facing the act of bestiality, his palms pointed behind
himself out into the nothingness beyond the platform. It is my
belief that Jesus Christ, in this universe, was the force which
kept the universe together, inasmuch as such a description as that
bears any meaning at all, when this universe was not acted upon by
time; What I mean is that if Jesus Christ here were not keeping
the nothingness at bay, this universe would truly have been
nothing at all; But He was, and so, it was. How did I feel that
this was the case even as I also could not observe any discrete
causal connection between his presence and the limit between
existence and nonexistence? I do not know. I do not claim that it
added up. It truly is not obvious to me if he even meant anything
by it.

(Excerpt, 3: Observations, by B. Tan, Volume 1, Chapter 30.)

There are often universes without money, and therefore without the
pursuit of money. There are often universes without any form of
trial, and therefore without the pursuit of victory. The list goes
on, at quite a staggering length, of things that have been called
the true meaning of the universe, which, even if potentially the
true meaning of a specific universe, are very clearly not the true
meaning of the multiverse.

Consistently, every universe contains bestiality. This was at one
time considered an unsavory observation, an impolite statistical
fluke to call attention to, but its utterly perfect consistency,
particularly against the backdrop of a multiverse where utterly
perfectly consistent elements are highly rare, is breathtaking,
important, and should not be looked away from, inasmuch as one
might believe in "shoulds" and "importances."

I have now long held the opinion that bestiality is more common
than love. This was not an admittance I reached lightly, but
rather reached very begrudgingly. Among other implications, it
would follow that, if bestiality is perfectly consistent while
love is markedly rarer, then it is specifically bestiality, not
zoophilia, which is the consistent element.

There is a duality apparently shared between bestiality and Jesus
Christ, in their consistency if in no other regard. This invites
several very immediate questions. Are bestiality and Jesus Christ
fundamental forces in opposition, or fundamental forces in
cooperation, if they are forces as such with meaningfully
comparable directionality at all? Is Jesus Christ the creator, and
if so, is bestiality his creation, alongside the self-creation of
his own image? In the same way as it would appear necessary that
there must be something rather than nothing before there can be
the figure of Jesus Christ, is the existence of Jesus Christ
somehow predicated on the existence of bestiality, or vice versa,
or do the two indeed at an equally direct level both spring up out
of existence, or alternatively, does existence itself constitute
merely one part of a trinity with bestiality as another part and
Jesus Christ as another part?

There have been humans who never once engaged in bestiality and
never cared to, and were atheists. What are these humans, in a
multiverse where they have so starkly avoided both of the
available focal points? Are they electrons? Worse?

Sometimes in my studies on all of this, I feel I am ascending a
great tower towards the promise of enlightenment; Sometimes I feel
like I am a drunkard illogically fixated on a dirty rock and truly
enraged that it isn't revealing itself as God to me.

In some universes, the existence and divinity of Jesus Christ is
utterly undisputed. In some universes, the existence and divinity
of Jesus Christ and all of the details implicit therein are
greatly disputed, to the point of enormous conflict. In some
universes, the existence and divinity of Jesus Christ is
ostensibly unknown.

In some universes, bestiality is ubiquitous and utterly
unsurprising. In some universes, bestiality is highly taboo and
controversial, to the point of enormous conflict in those for whom
it comes to a climactic head rather than a stifling. In some
universes, bestiality is risked rarely and done under great
secrecy.

I have taken a side on the matter. Why should I not be glad to?
Why, upon the face of a multiverse which very nearly only cares
about this one thing, should I not be glad to stand out?




[2]

So Transgressive and So Relaxed About Everything

i

Dear BOY REPORT,

I just adore the beautiful sense of imagination Michael has. In
every class he always sits there with his head down in his
sketchbook drawing otherworldly creatures and fantasy landscapes,
as well as portraits from memory of his friends and his golden
retriever Seamstress. Mrs Cartwright, his math teacher, told me
that on his exams he always answers every question right, and if
she asks him about his answers he can talk about how he got them,
which is why she doesn't mind him drawing in class, because he's
talented enough to do both. He is such a bright star. He always
looks so happy with life when he jaunts off into the woods with
his new friends, laughing and teasing one another.

I just worry about him though. He pretends to be gay to fit in
with his new friends. I overheard him talking to Alice, and he was
telling her that he seduces men at all of these parties he goes
to, and he told her about what all of his sleazy cheap pickup
moves are, and he told her about how he goes back to their house
with them after the party to have sex with them. He said that he
has sex with one or two new males every week. I know he just wants
to act like nothing matters to him, and that he's so transgressive
and so relaxed about everything that he'll even sleep with guys.
But proving it by having sex with one or two new guys every week
is really getting to be too much. I miss him in the Sunday
services. He hasn't been to church in months, except sometimes
standing outside to wait for some guy or another to go off and do
really crazy things with.

I just know that in his heart, he isn't gay. The way that he looks
at his FEMALE golden retriever Seamstress, I know that there's
love for females in his heart begging to have a way to show
itself. The way that he and HER will melt into each other in the
park in the sunlight... the way that they share meals like every
snack is the most romantic date... the way that he fawns over her,
talking to her heart to heart and being all cute and making her
happy... the way that he cherishes her, looks at her with such
love in his eyes... I know that deep down he's straight. I know
that him acting like he's gay is just a game that has gotten too
far. I know that somewhere inside, he wishes he could find a way,
without looking uncool, to come back to church again, start dating
a girl, and stop all of his games.

He's so cute when he sneezes!! (There I said it!)

Please everyone, join me in praying for Michael to stop thinking
this is cool or a funny joke, and for him to be straight again.

--a secret admirer

ii

Dear BOY REPORT,

Michael really has been driving me extra crazy lately. Things are
getting really bad for him. He's been dressing in girl clothes. At
first just necklaces and bracelets that he would put on after the
final bell before going off with his friends, but this week he's
been wearing makeup to school and really obviously feminine tops.
Mr Spencer made him go home and change when he showed up to first
period with nothing but a white dress on. Alice said he looked
sexy in it but I don't know. He also got his ears pierced and has
been wearing earrings, people say that they're real too (the
piercings and the earrings are both real, the earrings are rumored
to be really expensive green sapphire). He's gotten way too
serious about all of this. I miss sitting nearby him in church and
hearing him sing. He has such a nice singing voice.

He said that he's never coming back to church though. I know that
it's never too late for him to forget about all of this crazy
stuff and go back to being his old self. But since he's trying to
be cool with his new friends he doesn't have any interest. I know
that God will not forget him, but WE have to FOLLOW God's
invitations, not shun them away just because church is not as
popular now. And it really hurts to see that he isn't taking the
initiative. He's still such a talented, handsome man, below all of
the gay sex and the makeup.

People in Mrs Cartwright's class saw that on his last test he got
an F, even though he flipped the paper over really fast once he
saw it, hoping that no one else would see. I think he's been
getting into drugs and it's really effecting him. I've overheard
him talk before about drinking wine with his new friends and
smoking pot, I figured he didn't mean it and was just bragging
about being around that stuff but didn't actually have any
himself, but now I think that he was serious about all of that and
it makes me really sad to see him throwing away his life like
this.

I can't tell what he's doing in his sketchbooks anymore. He fills
them up constantly and is going through so many of them. He writes
really really long paragraphs in them, but I don't recognize the
language that he's writing in, it's all different letters from
English and sometimes there's some bigger, really detailed
symbols. Sometimes he draws diagrams that look like really
advanced geometry problems but they seem unrelated to the class.
He doesn't draw landscapes anymore, but sometimes on the pages
with the writing and the diagrams there are still drawings of
monsters, usually shadowy evil things with sharp teeth and drool.
At first I thought the monsters' eyes were angry, but I think
they're actually happy: happy about breaking rules and doing bad
things just to look bad.

Deep down I still have a crush on him. But I have a crush on the
REAL him. Not this fake version of himself that he's gotten so
obsessed with where he just can't stop pretending to be gay and a
tranny. I would hug him all night to keep his hands away from
alcohol or drugs. It's like one bad thing is building on top of
another for him and I just don't know where to fix him, unless he
is willing to surrender himself to God, which he seems so
unwilling to do, but I am still praying for him.

I know that there is still hope, because through all of it, he has
never stopped treating Seamstress, his FEMALE golden, with such
love. I still see the two of them going on walks, and it's nothing
like how other people walk their dogs, he's never mean to her, you
can tell from the way that he doesn't yank her around and actually
pays attention to her that he cares about her. Candidly, BOY
REPORT, one time I was walking in the woods and from a distance I
saw him and her making out, with tongue and caressing and moaning.
He looked so happy, and even if it was weird and really disgusting
to let a dog lick you in the mouth I felt happy to see it proved
that he isn't really gay. The fact that he always still carves out
time just for her speaks volumes all by itself: he needs a girl in
his life to devote himself to, and deep down, he knows it. There
are girls he hangs out with but they're all dykes or too bitchy to
do him any good.

I think he can turn this thing around. I think that he still wants
to, but he's just really lost and confused about where to start at
this point, and it's easier to pretend to be gay and to ignore it
all with alcohol and drugs. Like I said, my prayers are still with
him always. (And I do still think his sneezes are really cute, for
the record.)

--a secret admirer

iii

Dear BOY REPORT,

The police were at Michael's house yesterday to try to arrest him,
but he wasn't there. Nobody knows where he is. I'm really scared
about what he might have done or what happened to him.

Everyone knows that he's been missing school a lot. His grades
have done a complete nosedive. I even heard some people say that
he's engaged now, to one of his fag so-called boyfriends, AND that
it's polygamous, so that he's engaged to Alice and Seamstress too.
I can't even.

He's been dressing so weird lately. He's not exactly dressing like
a transvestite anymore, but he's just dressing weird. The last
time I saw him he was in the woods by himself, wearing a black
robe and a black hat with a really big circular brim: it's the
little field in the woods with the big flat-topped boulder in the
center of it, he had painted symbols all over the sides of the
boulder, and was walking in slow, pensive circles on top of the
boulder, around and around. I wanted to go up and break him out of
it but he looked really serious. Even before that, I've seen (when
he's even in school) that he's been drawing symbols on his hands
and on his face too. I've found out that some of the symbols are
from tarot cards, but not all of them are, so it seems to be from
other stuff too. His own imagination? I have no idea.

I don't want to think he's a lost cause, but this is all so bad. I
think until the wedding happens, he still has an opportunity to
break free from this, and go back completely to the guy he used to
be. But I realistically don't think he's going to. And if he
marries another man AND a slutty bitchy girl AND his fricking dog?
Pray for me, BOY REPORT, I want to hurl every time I think about
him and all of them doing married things. That's so gross. And I
don't think he can marry them and then just put that in the past,
I think marrying them would be a permanent scar on his soul. It
would still never be too late. But that would be something he
always has to live with.

He still has time to save his grades, if he's ever allowed back at
school, if he's ever allowed to even show his face again, since
now the police are trying to arrest him. He's thrown away so much,
but I think that if he admits his problems and devotes himself to
recovery... I would still like to be there with him, to help him
become the old Michael. The old Michael is who I wish that I could
write these might-only-be-an-op-ed-or-semi-might-be-love-letters-
of-a-sort to. The old Michael who was so smart at memorizing Bible
verses and studying Bible stories. The old Michael who wanted to
go to college and say no to drugs and believed in abstinence. The
old Michael who did beautiful, nice art that always made me really
happy to sneak a peek at during class.

Wherever you are Michael, I hope you're safe, and I hope you're
thinking really hard about getting better from all of this.

--a secret admirer

iv

Topic: Faggot In Tennessee Heralds The Apocalypse, BAM! Called It?
CALLED IT Anyone? How Do You Like THEM Apples?
OP: Smaug77401834570

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring RING ring ring ring ring ring
ring ring ring ring ring ring! Wake up call, anyone? "Smaug, you
don't know jack shit about meteorology, shut up about the weather
maps!" "Smaug, you leave those poor nice faggots alone, what harm
did they ever do!" EAT. SHIT. DUMBASSES. USA Today. CNN. Fox News.
The Washington Post. TMZ. ABC. CBS. Liars? Absolutely. But these
jackals now have one thing in common, and that's that they're
sending reports to the one, the only, Orange Brook Tennessee. Why?
BREAKING NEWS: GAY KID HARNESSES THE POWER OF THE OCCULT, LOOSES
SODOMY, DEMONS, AND MAYHEM UPON SMALL TOWN COMMUNITY. Who called
it? SMMAAAAAUUUUUUUG. I shant have much time to revel in my
correctness, you disbelieving faggots, but ohhhhhhh is this bottle
of Four Roses going to taste good on my lips which doth profess
gospel. You idiots. The signs were there. I told you I needed that
funding. I showed you my proof. The weather. The birds. The river
water analysis was the major tip-off that something seriously no
bueno was going down in We're Fucked Ville. I would have stopped
this. Found that kid, shot him dead, served my life sentence
gladly knowing that I had stopped demons from finally ripping the
partition wide open once and for all. Because, NEWS FLASH, there's
no going back. By this time tomorrow, the invasion will have
already reached parts of Texas, Florida, and yes, it will at the
very least be within sight of our nation's capitol. Two days from
now, you can call America Ameri-was. All that will be left of the
continental US is Maine, Washington, Oregon, and Los Angeles: none
of the parts of the country that were worth a shit, a-har-har-har-
har-har!!! If you DO happen to call those particular shitholes
home, congratulations, you'll have about another half a day of
filling your britches before the swarm feasts on your entrails
too. What happens next? Depends. "But Smaug, you know everything!"
Yeah, well, I only know as much as can be interpolated or
extrapolated out of the information available to me, and we ain't
never seen anything like this before, comprende? What happens next
depends on how the demonic swarm can handle different biomes,
namely the sea, ye scurvy dogs! The Pacific and The Atlantic! The
Indian! The Arctic! In the optimistic case, the ocean completely
rocks their shit, and the Americas become the part of the Earth
where the apocalypse resides, while Eurasia and friends now have
at least a few more dark, horrifying years left to regret all of
their sins and await the day that the swarm still inevitably gets
across. That's the optimistic case. The non-optimistic case is
that water is all the same as land to these horrors, or, possibly,
even an accelerant to their powers, and every inch of the planet
is devoured within the end of the month. Sayonara, and good
riddance to all of you. You fucking idiots.

v

Topic: What's happening in TN communism?
OP: WeAreImmensiveWeRise

I'm visually really into this thing in the news about that
Tennessee town, the creatures and the humans (those who stayed
lol) all look to be living really lavish lifestyles, enjoying
things to the fullest and not putting one another down. Do we know
in detail how their society is structured?

vi

Topic: COULD FURRIES BE REAL IN TENNESSEE?
OP: CardboardCan

Did you guys hear the news out of TN about how fallen angels live
there now and their society kicks ass?? Magic, monsters, I want
one of those centaurs to mount me and put otherworldly foals in my
fox ass please please please please! On the news they showed a
macro fox with an insanely hot ass I would love for that fox to
sit on me and smother my face with his delightfully bad smelling
sphincter! I need need need need need his ass to clench and relax
on my needy muzzle!! macro furry ass is real!!!!!!!

vii

From: Agent "Gearbox"
To: Secretary "Clutch"
Subject: Geography
Goblin = Elven

Operation Green Park reporting as of Day Two, 1900 hours. Goblin
territory has not spread beyond the Orange Brook area since the
halt yesterday at sundown, nor has the Goblin territory
diminished. Motorheads amply occupy the surrounding territory,
Racers from TN are an open presence, Racers from several
surrounding jurisdictions lie in close proximity on standby.

Aerial view into Goblin territory not obstructed; Entry of state
actors obstructed by Goblin guards, who employ supernatural
talents to drown out the speech of any state actors and bar us
entry via force field; Non state actors are generally granted free
passage past the Goblin guards.

Intelligence has been gathered from aerial observation and from
interviews conducted with civilians who at various points have
left Goblin territory.

Last night and continuing into some daylight hours today, Goblins
were busy altering their territory, such as by: vastly changing
the terrain from rolling hills to staggered plateaus with slopes
in between, the peaks of the staggered plateaus largely not
correlated to where the peaks of the existing hills had been;
spreading, by magic, lush new plant life that is red in color, and
grows in tandem with the existing green plant life that had been
present in the area; constructing new structures in place of
certain existing structures which they have targetedly demolished,
such as a square pool of water being constructed where the Orange
Brook Police Department Headquarters had been, and such as hanging
gardens with ornate metalwork being constructed across the plots
of land where the town's churches had been.

Also of note was proliferation of Goblins themselves, all of them
bearing chiefly lithe human-like forms, but all able to shift
fluidly into an animalistic form, marked by bearing animalistic
features and lush coats of fur, some of natural colors, some dark
red, some black, most dressed in robes of very high quality
textiles and adorned in jewelry of gold and of precious stones,
some quadrupedal, some bipedal, sizes ranging from 1 inch in
height to 44 feet in height, with the greatest numbers occupying
the smaller side of this spectrum and the fewest numbers occupying
the greater side of this spectrum. All Goblins possess magical
talents, all Goblins are armed with spears, swords, or bows, all
Goblins speak primarily in an unearthly language but are also
fluent in all earthly languages.

At 1100 hours today, alteration by Goblins of Goblin territory
seemed to have largely pleased them. It was, I will note, indeed
very thorough.

At 1200 hours today, Goblins began congregating in a vast public
square, and have since been partaking in a celebration of their
victories, the celebration marked by music, dancing, the drinking
of wine, the eating of decadent foods. Intelligence suggests that
they believe they are on the dawn of taking over the world, and
that within three days' time they are expecting to have destroyed
existing power structures, proliferated Goblin life across the
planet, and unrecognizably altered all terrain worldwide. They
speak of doing so while welcoming in all life that will make
itself coexist, but by ruthlessly eliminating all who stand
unmovingly in between them and their goals. This new society would
center around principles of, in their terms, abundance,
generosity, polyamory, empathy, wellness, achievement, art, and
pleasure. This new society also proudly proclaims itself to be
Unchristian, and I would agree with this analysis. Overnight, this
town has become unrecognizable from the American town it hitherto
was.

Motorheads share a sense that this is drastically worse than if an
attack from a foreign nation had simply wiped the Orange Brook
area off the map, for two reasons. 1: Here the enemy now stands,
within our nation's borders, as an army that we have no apparent
means of inflicting any damage upon, and which has demonstrated a
willingness to take from United States land, and indeed already
executed upon this willingness successfully. 2: Rather than a
relatively contained erasure of assets, the Goblin transformation
of the Orange Brook area represents a corruption, an unbounded and
highly volatile spoiling of American values.

Goblin presence in TN or indeed anywhere on Terra is an
existential threat to human life, and is certainly a targeted,
credible existential threat against The United States of America.

Intelligence suggests that at sunrise tomorrow, Goblins will
continue the spread of their territory beyond the Orange Brook
area, vastly and rapidly.

Advising full assault tonight.

If spread does continue, advising broad nuclear option. Not
requesting extraction.

viii

From: Agent "Glass"
To: Head of State
Subject: Operation Dark Collar met with failure
Harpy = Elven

All Dark Couriers have been found and lethally eliminated by Harpy
assassins.

Broad nuclear option is no longer in play.

God save you.

ix

It felt like waking up from a bad dream and going back into the
real world for the first time. I walked through the forest and
breathed in the wind. As water is moved through a stream and wind
is moved through grass, so too was I moved. I laid on a red
hillside and felt the grass hold me in its snug, assuring
clutches. I walked sometimes alone, sometimes with other
creatures. I relaxed sometimes alone, sometimes with other
creatures. I laid for a very long time in the soil and sank into
it, and grew out again. One day I met an elf who was swimming in a
lake that shined moodily in the evening light. His fire on the
beach had gone down to embers. In the nearby woods I foraged about
for small dry dead twigs and branches, and with care and by
blowing onto the lakeside fire's embers, I restored the fire as
the elf swam. When he came up from the water, he and I sat by the
fire together and cuddled and spoke long relaxing verses to one
another. I learned that he was King Ai'li'na'los, one of the elven
assassins who had prevented a nuclear attack from coming to
fruition, back during the last days when a nuclear attack was
still possible, entertainable. Who was I back then? I was someone
who was getting sick of getting chewed out for being late to my
job at the Chevron station. I was touch starved, annoyed at
partisan politics, connected and disconnected to all the wrong
things. Ai'li'na'los and I shared in sexual pleasures that night.
Over the next few weeks we walked together, and arrived at a
festival grounds where so many people were at peace, relaxing
alone or with other creatures, walking alone or with other
creatures, dancing alone or with other creatures. Through the
festival grounds we walked, and arrived at a long table, where
seated, among the others, were four I soon recognized as the
beautiful King Michael, the beautiful Queen Seamstress, the Lotus
Queen Alice, and the deft King Maxie. Late that night, I laid with
my nose towards a flower made of wisps of magical light growing
out of the ground in the woods near a river. While I laid there,
looking at the flower, King Ai'li'na'los idly rubbed my back, and
Queen Seamstress also laid on the ground nearby me with her nose
also to the flower, as King Maxie gave rubs to her, and she
relaxed deeply into his touch.

x

I got really into racing. Really, really into racing. Creatures
bring me parts I covet. Not in the moment I ask for them,
typically, but I speak of something needed, and a creature hears,
and goes and seeks. 200 miles per hour. Faster, in good
conditions. I feel like an otherworldly monster speeding over the
track. I used to watch racing on the TV, with my dad. Then a lot
of life happened, and then all of this happened. There are not
very many things I would ever go back for. If I was able to
venture back into that old life, it would be as a fisher: I would
fish things out of that time, and carry them back with me, to now,
to when it has all gotten better.

xi

I join in howls. I howl to the stars above and I howl to my planet
that is here with me. The pack howls. I am part of the pack. I
howl.

xii

I lie in an immense library, and the tablets and books and scrolls
and tapes and disks and so on all whisper their stories to me,
their scientific treatises, their languages and encodings and
stylistic decisions, their doctrines, anything for which it is in
their spirit to tell me, and for me to examine and learn about.
Often I hold the media in my hands, and examine it with my own
touch, my own vision. But also, often, I lie in some nook or
another, and make my being into an open container for knowledge to
pool into, and knowledge does so pool into me. I glean new
insights and pleasures from rereadings and from new readings. Once
in a long while, I pass by another reader.

xiii

I lie in a hammock this evening as the birds converse.

xiv

The world is an orgy now and I have a checklist of kinks that were
fantasies and now are in progress.

xv

Here now I spectate. Wander. Look. I see a human costumed as a fox
who is cuddling with an elf he was just topping, who was
transformed into a tiger, and the elf is now appearing as a tiger
still, during the cuddles. The fox is telling the elf how cool it
is that the entire world is an orgy now, every last person is
having sex in all of the ways they always wanted to, and all is
finally hedonism. Ha. Amusing. I don't know. There's other stuff
too, but, whatever.

xvi

I picnic by a river in a field, and then one of the berries I was
eating really hits, and it begins feeling like rolling waves are
nudging through my body, and it's a really nice feeling, I do love
it. The world wobbles. I see the bright sky and I giggle at it.
Unexpectedly, I am joined at my spot by King Michael, Queen Alice,
and Queen Seamstress. I kiss them each at my insistence, and then
Michael and Seamstress wander together up the riverside, while
Alice lies with me a while, and I tell her what a fantastic mood
I'm in and that I really just want some cuddles, and she cuddles
me.

xvii, end of set

The world still grows. In some ways it grows upwards: red trees
become taller, human and elven and hybrid offspring grow up. In
some ways it grows longer: another chapter of time is added onto
the last. What strikes me is the world's capacity to grow richer.
I see a human in a forest, lying completely at rest among a pack
of wolves, and all of them are contented, all of them are
peaceful, and the world grows richer.




[3]

Fam Tree

In a living room, a HUMAN MOTHER, HUMAN CHILD, and HUMAN FATHER
are seated on a couch. In front of them on a big board is a
diagram of a family tree.

MAY
Okay Scotty, so, last weekend, at Easter, some people were upset
that you didn't know how you and them were related.

SCOTTY (ashamed:)
Yeah...

MAY
But, we never taught you how you and them were related, did we?

SCOTTY (shakes his head.)
Uh-uh.

MAY
So you couldn't have known, huh?

SCOTTY
Yeah...

MAY
So, we're going to teach you today. We have our family tree here.
This is OUR family tree, woooow, see that? Do you see where we
are? Look, this is you, riiight here! And there's us, that's me,
"May," your mom, and there's dad, look, there's "Cliff," your dad.
Do you see how we follow along with the lines on this chart?

SCOTTY
Uh-huh we learned about family trees in school.

MAY
So, who do you think this is?

SCOTTY (amused:)
I can see her picture that's grandma.

MAY
But how do you know it's grandma from the chart?

SCOTTY
Because the line is connected. It goes up one from me to dad and
then up one from dad to grandma.

MAY
Wonderful! From the picture, do you see who this is?

SCOTTY
Um. Uncle Jeff but is he actually COUSIN Jeff?

CLIFF (proud:)
See! He told ya he knows how to read a family tree!

MAY
That's right, so, if we follow along, your dad Cliff and Jeff's
dad Rosco both have the same mom, Grandma Vivian, or Viv as a lot
of people call her. But, Rosco is dad's OLDER brother, and so, he
and his wife had Jeff years and years and years before we had you.
So Jeff is older than you, and he seems like your uncle, but
actually, he's your cousin.

SCOTTY
Mhm that makes sense I didn't know but I understand.

Cliff pats Scotty.

MAY
Now. Over here, with Aunt Lisa, this is something that we probably
didn't tell you about before. Aunt Lisa divorced her first
husband, and Uncle Mike is actually her second husband.

SCOTTY
Oh.

MAY
It's okay. SO, her first husband's name was Clint, and she had one
daughter with Clint, and then they got divorced, and then she got
married to Mike, and had another daughter with Mike.

20 YEARS LATER.

In a living room, SCOTTY and his two girlfriends SHREDDER and
ANNA-MARIE are sitting on a couch, with MAY and CLIFF also on the
couch to either side of the throuple. In front of them on a big
board is a diagram of... a family tree?

SCOTTY
Okay, so. Mom and Dad. My girlfriends and I were talking, and, we
felt that you maybe weren't 100% on the whole 'queer' 'gay' scene
kinda vibe that me and my girlfriends are all part of, and we
wanted to OFFER to catch you up on the whole comprehensive web.

MAY
We understand. You're gay and single but you have a lot of friends
who are girls who are lesbians, and you're very supportive of
them, and we admire that of you, you're a very good friend to
people in need.

SCOTTY
That's. Not correct.

CLIFF
I thought he put it in animals.

SCOTTY
THAT'S, ALSO, oh my god. No that WAS true, and then she DIED of
rabies, and so now that was, a long time ago.

MAY
He IS gay now, dear, and just friends with lots of other gay kids.

SCOTTY
Please do not say it like that, that's, for a lot of reasons
that's not true.

MAY
No it's true honey, you're a very good friend to all of these
people.

CLIFF
We're impressed with your selflessness. You've really put so much
into helping those worse off than you for nothing in return.

SCOTTY
Okay well, no, no this is... Oh boy. Okay. Um. Mom, Dad, on this
diagram here, we have, me, and Shredder, who is right here, you've
met her, and Anna-Marie, right here, you've met her as well.

MAY (100% confidence:)
Two pretty girlies sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-

SCOTTY
MOM.

SHREDDER
Wait that rules, May you rule actually?

SCOTTY
Okay so YES, Mom, Shredder and Anna-Marie do have a line between
them, they are girlfriends with each other, but you see, there's
also, a line, between each of them and me, it's a triangle. So?

MAY
Friends.

SCOTTY
No, that's, it's, more than friends, actually. The lines are
people who are having sex with each other.

May gasps, looking around at the whole board.

Cliff seems deep in thought.

SCOTTY
So, Shredder, IS my girlfriend, okay, MY, girlfriend. AND, Anna-
Marie is my girlfriend, also.

MAY (dumbfounded, looking at Shredder and Anna-Marie,)
I didn't know you two were boys- OH I'm sorry, not to say-

SHREDDER
Is your mom single?

SCOTTY (amused:)
Okay no no no no, Mom, they ARE girls.

MAY
Well I know they "ARE" girls,

SCOTTY
Yes, but, also, they are cisgender girls, they were born and
raised as girls.

MAY
Well I know they "were" "born and raised" "as girls,"

ANNA-MARIE (to Scotty:)
I'm trying dude, I'm trying to come up with the key words that
would explain it, but.

SCOTTY
Yeah. Ha. No it's uh. Okay. So. Mom. Shredder and Anna-Marie are
not trans.

MAY
OH, okay.

Scotty, Shredder, and Anna-Marie glance around amongst themselves
to see if they agree that May actually gets it. Yes it seems like
she does. Anna-Marie starts idly running her fingertips along
Scotty.

SCOTTY
Okay, so, Mom. Me, Shredder, Anna-Marie, all together, makes
sense?

MAY
Sure.

SCOTTY
Awesome.

MAY
So yyyyou're a girl now, okay.

SCOTTY
NOPE.

SHREDDER
No let's not move on too hastily, hang on.

SCOTTY
I am happy to date women AND men. I AM gay, but, I am also
straight, and I am still a male, okay?

MAY
You can be honest.

SHREDDER
You can be honest Julia.

SCOTTY (amused:)
NOT helping. Evil.

Shredder gives a tubular hand sign.

Cliff gestures to the chart.

CLIFF
How many of these people are dogs?

SCOTTY
We're getting there.

CLIFF
I mean ballpark, 0 percent, 100 percent.

SCOTTY
Kind of 10 percent but kind of 80 percent.

CLIFF
Is it because of furries?

SCOTTY
It, honestly, I mean, yeah, close enough.

CLIFF
Alrighty.

MAY
So, does Anna-Marie have a wife? I had assumed that was another
friend of yours named Anna-Marie who had a wife, but now I'm
wondering again.

SCOTTY (excited:)
Yes! So! Anna-Marie here does have a wife, who she is married to.
The wife's name is Autumn.

CLIFF
Anna-Marie and Autumn don't have a line together on this chart.

SCOTTY
No they do not.

CLIFF
You have a line between yourself and Anna-Marie and yourself and
Autumn.

SCOTTY
Yes.

CLIFF (lowkey impressed:)
Wow no okay.

SCOTTY
So, a lot of these people identify as a lot of different species,
or genders. I've written the quick bullet points under everyone,
but, you can also see all of their photos and make of them what
you will. Oh, I've also written their real names, AND their
fursonas' names, and all of the other aliases, that I'm aware of,
although if they're trans I've left out the deadname because we
never use those.

MAY
So HERE, LUKE, is the man you're having sex with right now.

SCOTTY
Yyyyyes.

MAY
So HE'S your new real partner.

SCOTTY
Wait what?

ANNA-MARIE (to Scotty:)
No this really makes sense through not-you-vision trust me.

SCOTTY
Sweetie what?

ANNA-MARIE
Oh it's not RIGHT it's just that I would assume the same thing.

SCOTTY
Really?

SHREDDER
100%.

SCOTTY
Well YOU would.

SHREDDER
100%.

CLIFF
How many of these people are having internet sex?

SCOTTY
EVERYONE on this chart is having internet sex with EVERYONE else
on this chart.

CLIFF
Okay I understand now.

MAY
So you're all cheating on Autumn?

SCOTTY
No what.

SHREDDER
Kinda.

SCOTTY
Not even kind of!

SHREDDER
She calls us cheating harlots EVERY day.

ANNA-MARIE
She just calls everyone that, she calls people that in traffic.

CLIFF
When do any of you have time to go to work.

SHREDDER
God, right?

MAY
So Scotty, you ARE dating again, wow. Back in the running.

SCOTTY
Not exactly?

MAY
Oh what is it now?

SCOTTY
Well, in the running for WHAT, is what I'm not sure of in that.

CLIFF
Marriage and children, son.

SCOTTY
No, zero interest.

MAY
So you are homosexual.

SCOTTY
I am pansexual, polyamorous,

SHREDDER
Oh also everyone on this chart is a zoophile or a furry. Or an
animal.

SCOTTY
That is true yeah- well no, Mark is just, a guy.

SHREDDER
IS he? Shit bro I thought he was so freaky I didn't even wanna
ask.

SCOTTY
I THINK he's like, just a normal guy?

ANNA-MARIE
Is Mark not they/them?

SCOTTY
No Mark is he/him.

ANNA-MARIE
Oh he is so they/them coded.

Shredder types on her phone for 1 second.

SHREDDER
I sent him a message, 'Hey are you like ultra freaky secretly or
are you mostly super vanilla? What's the weirdest interests you're
into? Here's my own favs for a sense of what I'm into if you're
interested in comparing lmao, I think you already know most of
these but to be clear these are ones I legitimately am hardcore
into,' and then a list of my favs.

CLIFF
Well kids,

SCOTTY
Not kids.

SHREDDER
Mark says he identifies as a little kid I fucking knew it.

ANNA-MARIE
That's not freaky! By itself? That's cute!

SHREDDER
He's still typing.

ANNA-MARIE
Oh pfff, okay, well, we'll see.

SHREDDER
I think it's a LITTLE freaky even just by itself.

ANNA-MARIE
Oh it is not.

SHREDDER
I support him being a freak hardcore I'm just saying he is one.

CLIFF
Who makes the costumes?

SHREDDER
What?

MAY
Oh what he's saying is, you're all attracted to animals, who makes
the costumes, for when you're having sex with each other?

ANNA-MARIE
I do.

SCOTTY
What?

Shredder puts Scotty in a headlock and covers his mouth with her
hand.

CLIFF
So, Scotty is a girl now and you all wear animal costumes and have
orgies, is that what you wanted us to know?

SHREDDER
Yup thanks.

Scotty is frantically trying to keep talking but it is completely
muffled by Shredder's restraints on him.

ANNA-MARIE
Well Mrs May and Mr Cliff, thank you for having this sit-down with
us, I think we clarified a lot.

Scotty is really-really trying to talk, Shredder is not letting
him go. Everyone is getting up from the couch to leave.

MAY
Well it's all quite a bit different from how WE used to do it,
but, I understand.

SHREDDER
Thank you so much for your understanding.

CLIFF
So let me ask, with the actual dogs, do you have to drug them or
do they just take it?

ANNA-MARIE
Oh we sometimes drug them but mostly we just train them to put up
with taking it.

Scotty is frantically shouting under Shredder's hand but his
corrections cannot be heard.

CLIFF
Ohhhhhh, huh. I never thought of that.

SHREDDER
You learn something new every day.

ANNA-MARIE
See you two at the Blink concert I gotta sell Erin some smack.

SHREDDER
Kay, make that money babe.

Anna-Marie kisses Shredder who kisses her back, and then kisses
Scotty on the forehead while Scotty is still trying to talk under
Shredder's hand. Anna-Marie then leaves.

Shredder glances at May and Cliff, and then at Scotty.

SHREDDER
I uh. Have to go take her to get her. Gynecologist meeting.
Scheduled. She hasn't had her special snip-snip but she likes to
go there and pretend.

CLIFF
Well don't let us keep ya, thank you for stopping by.

MAY
Love you Scotty, love you Shredder.

SHREDDER
Take care homies.

Shredder drags Scotty away kicking and (muffled-ly) screaming.




[4]

A Lyric

Pads on the blacktop
Pads on the dirt
Same run across my neck at night
Lover's careless hurt

Fingers on the rope
Two wrestle four
Negotiate
What this patrol is for
Smell of fellow dogs
Sight of villain cats
A mark for mark
Canceled tit for tat

Pads in the morning fog
Pads in midnight dark
Same ran across my neck last night
Left a big red mark

Lips on the maw
Teeth mind the lips
A savored taste
Of red rocket's tip
A nudge for nudge
The flesh it yearns
It does not care
Of what kith it burns

Coarse speech of dog
Coarse howl of man
The dancing partner
Understands
A want to be touched
A want to give touch well
A fine arrangement
This for Hell