To Thine Own Self Be Zoo


Volume 1
Issue 1
Issue 2
Issue 3
Issue 4
Issue 5
Issue 6
Issue 7
Issue 8
Issue 9
Issue 10
Issue 11
-Issue 12-
Issue α

Volume 2
Issue 1
Issue β
Issue 2
Issue 3
Issue 4


Volume 1,
Issue 12



What Else Was There Had We Forsaken The Pleasure Of This Shared Life?

Lustucia Writers Meeting

Talking Around

To Advance Completeness, Some Arguments

Chicks in Space! #101: “Pilot”

Poems





Chicks in Space! #101: “Pilot”




Animated series. 2D animation for the most part, but some 3D animation in the environments, particularly regarding space ships.

SPACE

A jet-like space ship is flying through space. Hang on an establishing shot, showing the space ship, and ambient pressure clicks and creaks and air flowing as the craft maintains its atmosphere.

Cut to a closer view through the windshield, to see Alex Chick piloting the craft. He looks disheveled, with unkempt blonde hair sweeping off to one side, and stubble. A look of serious determination is on his face as he grips the controls. We hang on this shot for another beat as the ambient sounds continue, and Alex says nothing. He only makes very minor adjustments on the controls, and the camera only very slowly zooms a bit in.

ALEX (VO)
My name is Alex Chick.

Montage of flashes of scenes showing how we got here. Alex says a part of the opening monologue, and we see the accompanying imagery.

ALEX continued:
Two years ago, me and my best friend Chip were making a delivery on our freighter, when we flew into a fucking hornet’s nest.

Alex Chick and Chip Chick stepping into the cockpit of their freighter ship, pleased as can be. Alex is a human, and Chip is a dog, probably a German Shepherd.

Freighter going through space, then a flash encircles the freighter, and in the afterimage of the flash, dozens of smaller ships appear and begin shooting at the freighter.

ALEX continued:
They were everywhere. I made a run to reestablish power to the shields, but as the shields were coming back on, my section of the ship was blasted off from the rest of it.

Alex dragging along one end of a heavy 2ft diameter cable. He throws it onto the ground near another cable-end, and snaps the heads of each cable together, reestablishing power to the shields.

A large beam blasts Alex’s area of the ship off before the shields get around to it, and Alex is shot off into space.

ALEX continued:
The latest suits these days can keep you alive on energy-turned-nutrients alone for as long as your battery lasts. I floated through space, away from my best friend, for a month until my distress hails were kindly answered.

Alex drifting, slowly spinning, muscles motionless.

Alex taking a hand into the rescuing ship; with the rescuer’s hand still held, Alex pulls them in so that they are chest to chest, and rests his head against the crook of the rescuer’s neck; the rescuer leans in too, and gives Alex a couple pats on the back.

ALEX continued:
But they refused to bring me back to him, and dropped me off a week later on the bog planet they’d been heading to.

Alex having an argument with the pilots of the ship, gesturing and pointing out into the depths of space.

Ship landing on bog planet.

ALEX continued:
Since then, I’ve toiled, swindled, forgeried, and out and out lied my way into a position where I would have the means to hijack a space jet and get back to where it was that I last saw my friend.

Alex working a plow.

Alex playing cards in a bar.

Alex in a starkly white and clean room standing at a computer terminal, one hand on a keyboard, other hand making a signature on the signature reader attached.

Alex standing around in a beige office space with a cup of coffee in hand, chatting with Sebastian and another.

Alex and Sebastian in the cockpit; Sebastian is walking away from the port pilot’s seat to go back into the plane, but Alex leaps at him and puts him in a full nelson as he takes him to the ground; hang on the empty shot for a beat after the narration ends and Alex and Sebastian are on the ground; all we see is our view out through the windshield, and the stars turning outside.

With the opening monologue over, we go to a reestablishing shot of the ship from behind.

Cut back to the shot outside the windshield of Alex determined.

Come in through the windshield, fading the window away as the camera enters.

Now in the interior of the cockpit, cut to a shot from behind, showing Alex in the port pilot’s seat and an empty starboard pilot’s seat across from him. As a general rule, the port pilot’s seat is the seat of more authority in any cockpit: here we see that since Alex has hijacked the ship, he has taken the more authoritative seat that Sebastian used to occupy.

Alex continues flying for another beat. Then he sighs, reaches over and hits a button, and then unbuckles and stands from his seat (there is gravity in the ship). He walks across the cockpit to a series of locker-ish doors that are situated along the wall behind the starboard pilot’s seat.

Alex unlatches a garage-style slide-up door, lifts it up, and begins making coffee with the instruments and nozzles that are fixed into the wall behind the door.

SEBASTIAN
muffled shouting.

Cut to shot a broom closet door past Alex, situated on the port pilot’s side of the ship, further back nearer to the door that exits the cockpit. Alex turns to face towards the broom closet door.

SEBASTIAN
more muffled shouting.

ALEX annoyed:
Shaaaat up in there! You’ll get your ship back.

Sebastian continues his muffled shouting, and begins banging on the door as well. Alex turns to grab his coffee, and has a sip. Sebastian, though still muffled, begins repeating a distinct phrase.

SEBASTIAN muffled:
I have to pee!

ALEX listens. then:
You have to pee?

SEBASTIAN muffled:
Yes!

ALEX sighs.
How long can you hold it?

SEBASTIAN muffled:
Five minutes!

Alex gulps down the rest of his coffee, fixes the mug back into the rack, and slides that door back down. He grabs his helmet off of a rack behind the starboard pilot’s seat, puts it on, and lets it seal to the rest of his suit. He then walks out of the cockpit, banging an “open door” button coolly on his way out.

Very quick shots of Alex grabbing some metal piping and some welding equipment.

Back in the cockpit, Alex welds the piping to the ceiling over the broom closet, in such a way that the door (which folds open outwards) will only be able to open a couple of inches when he unlocks it. When the welding work is done and he’s tested it by banging on it a few times with another pipe, Alex unlocks the broom closet door and steps back, and holds a metal bottle out such that it is just within Sebastian’s reach. Sebastian reaches out and takes it.

Alex wanders away, and paces while Sebastian urinates into the bottle. Sebastian then places the used bottle outside of the broom closet door, cap screwed on, and shuts the door himself. Alex closes his eyes and raises his eyebrows in an expression that shows he’s surprised by Sebastian’s good behavior. Alex goes and takes the bottle, empties the contents into a disposal nozzle, and places the bottle back outside the door.

Alex raises his voice to be heard through the closet door.

ALEX
Empty bottle’s outside again if you need it.

SEBASTIAN muffled:
Thank you.

Alex saunters back to the port pilot’s seat and sits down. He looks over to the empty starboard pilot’s seat, lets out a shuddering sigh, and turns forward to face out the windshield again. He leans over to hit the button that he hit when getting up, but then after hovering his fist over it for a moment, drops his arm limp to his side, slumps back in his chair so that his lower back is now over the seat and his head is at the mid back of the chair, and lets the space ship continue flying itself.

Cut to white.

Fading into the scene, we see Alex from the past, doing mucky labor around a farm, being payed in futuristic but grimy coins, and then placing those coins into a metal lockbox which he keeps under his bed in his small living arrangements.

We then cut to him that night at a bar, hanging out with some locals. Luise, seated next to him, sways with tipsiness. Alex is trying to be smiley and friendly.

LUISE
Alex, why do you never drink with us?

ALEX
I drink.

LUISE
You do not! How many have you had tonight?

ALEX
None.

LUISE
You have MONEY, this is the only place for a hundred miles you can blow it.

ALEX
True. But I’m not trying to blow it.

LUISE
What the hell for not?

ALEX
Saving.

LUISE hailing the bartender:
Clyde! Four shots!

Luise slides the coins out onto the counter as the bartender walks over.

Simon turns away from another conversation and looks to Luise, who he is seated next to.

SIMON
Is Alex DRINKING?

LUISE
If he’s not chicken.

SIMON
Clyde, four more.

Simon slides the coins onto the counter as well.

Eight adjacent shot glasses are filled in one continuous pour.

Many around the bar have come to peer over each other and crowd around to see Alex actually drink. He picks up one of the shot glasses, glances between Luise and the remaining glasses, and asks if she’s joining. She tells him to drink up. He does the same with Simon, who leans back and shakes his head. Alex does shot after shot, back to back until the eight are finished. Cheering and whistling from the gathered crowd.

Some shots as though from a top back corner of the bar room, looking down on the goings on. Alex shirtless playing pool, Simon slaps his ass which makes him jolt upright, then with both hands pushes Alex forward onto the pool table. Cut forward, Alex has tied his shirt around his head, and is clinking beer steins with Simon. Cut forward, Simon and Lucy vs Alex and Luise in a chicken fight as a ring of spectators eggs them on. Cut forward, fewer people here now, less rowdy; one person stumbles and then vomits on the floor. Cut, now just Simon, Lucy, Luise, Alex, and Clyde who is sweeping up in the background.

Luise rolls over and reposes across Alex’s lap, looking up at him.

LUISE
I don’t... know what... I was going to say.

ALEX
Can I walk you home, Luise?

LUISE
My carriage...

Luise doesn’t finish the thought.

Luise reaches up and puts her arms around Alex, and Alex hugs her back and stands the both of them up. With Alex looking over Luise’s shoulder, Simon and and Alex have a brief exchange with facial expressions. Simon makes a concerned inquisitive face while glancing at Luise, or the back of her head. Alex makes a scrunched up overly friendly face with a tiny head shake that says don’t worry about it, not trying to do anything. Simon shrugs via his eyebrows and turns away. Alex and Luise walk out of the bar, Luise’s arm draped over Alex’s shoulders.

Back at the threshold of Luise’s place. Luise is hanging off of Alex, while he tries to keep her at an arm’s length. She sways around as she clings to him in various ways.

ALEX
Alright. Tonight was a lot of fun.

LUISE
“Fun,” I didn’t know you knew the word. Always so stiff. Shy.

ALEX
Well. That’s not without a history.

LUISE
You should make EVERY night like this night. You’d be happier.

This rubs Alex the wrong way.

ALEX
I said it was fun, I didn’t say I was happy.

LUISE
Oh stop.

Luise leans back, swinging back and forth and holding onto Alex’s arm for support for a moment. She is pulling them both towards the door, but Alex is rigidly upright, unbudging.

ALEX
Are you good to make it inside on your own?

LUISE
Aren’t you coming in?

ALEX
Luise. It’s not like that.

LUISE
Yeeeeeeesss, come on, the fun could just be getting STARTED tonight.

ALEX sighs through his nose.
I’m saving up because I’m trying to get back to my sweetheart off-planet.

Luise gapes at him, lets go of his hand and finds her own balance.

LUISE
Why would you go and say something like that?

ALEX no longer that friendly:
It’s true?

LUISE scoffs.
And what kind of man are you that you’d turn THIS down just because you have some floozy off—

ALEX
HEY.

Alex is about to continue, but checks his tone, and instead takes a few steps backwards away from Luise, ready to turn and start heading back for his place. He opens his mouth to explain, then shudders and clenches his fists, and turns and leaves.

Fade back to the cockpit of the hijacked space jet. Alex is sitting with his back against the wall nearby the broom closet. On the floor around Alex and around the door of the broom closet, which is open a crack, are a multitude of dishes, some with some food left in them, others now mostly picked clean.

ALEX
And what I wanted to tell her was, heh, well, everything. How much my friend—I call him my friend, but he’s more than that, you get me, Chip is his name by the way—

Sebastian is sticking an arm out of the closet, reaching for a food item that’s out of reach. Alex leans over and slides it into Sebastian’s reach as he keeps talking, not breaking the monologue.

ALEX continued:
I wanted to tell her how much my friend means to me, how much she was mischaracterizing the situation by calling him ‘some floozy,’ because that did upset me, I won’t lie to you, and I know that’s what she was going for, but she really struck a nerve, acting like my friend wasn’t the world to me, that he wasn’t the whole reason I sweat buckets every day there, to save up enough to get plans in motion to get to him. I suppose it seemed to me like she was really just refusing to grasp the idea that there is no joy in my life until he’s in my life again. Anyways. That’s why I hijacked your spaceship.

Sebastian’s response is no longer muffled now that the door is open:

SEBASTIAN
Well, she’s behind you now. And it sounds like Chip is ahead. If it were me, I’d say let the past be past. And as for the future, hey, I’m rooting for you.

ALEX
I appreciate that Sebastian.

Alex has a bite of a biscuit and a sip of water.

Then he looks down to his forearm: from his skin, a rectangular glow begins, and then a screen becomes visible. The way he holds the wrist of this arm with the hand of the other arm, we have both arms in the shot, and can see that he only shaves the left arm to keep the display clear. On the display are some alien-looking numbers, and on one side of the screen is a solid dot with concentric circles positioned around it; another dot fades in and out on the other side of the screen. The solid dot (representing Alex’s location) is on a thick river-like line that passes nearby to the blinking dot (representing the freighter, which has enough power to give off the needed ping).

Alex lowers his arm and sighs through his nose. Cut to a shot whereby we can see Alex sitting against the wall, and can also the windshield out into space in the background.

Alex says something that is ostensibly an assuring statement to Sebastian, but is more a statement to himself:

ALEX
We’ll be there soon.

Zoom past Alex, towards the windshield, until all that’s seen is space.

Fade to a region of stars further into space, but still, nothing of note is visible.

Fade again to a yet further region, and we can see a star intensely occupying one side of the shot, but can also in the distance see the freighter, which is orbiting the star.

Fade to an establishing shot of the freighter. Saturn-like rings of debris from other space ships circle the large craft. On an antenna atop the freighter, we can see a glowing light intensifying and fading at the same rate as the dot on Alex’s forearm display. With this shot we begin to hear some of the ambient sounds of the freighter: electrical pops, electrical crackles, pressure creaks, deeper more intense hull groaning, unexplained machinery noises that sound like something ticking around in a dryer at times.

Fade to a shot of the antenna, to highlight it and to show the intense power cables that wind up to it in order to keep it going.

Fade to a shot panning across a portion of the hull of the ship, showing all of the battle damage.

Fade to a shot of the solar panels on one side of the ship, sizzling and creaking, some sections of the shot glaringly bright. A few of the panels are damaged, but most appear intact.

Fade to a shot inside of the ship, panning to the right across what would seem to have been some kind of mess hall. Tables and chairs are all strewn across the opposite wall. Frequently, metal tiles from the ceiling, walls, and floor are loose, peeling, or absent. Only some of the lights overhead work, leaving some sections of the mess hall dimmer as we pan across.

Pan slows and stops as at the bottom of the shot, we arrive at a metal grate with round parallel bars going across it, presumably to push water into when mopping. With the panning halted, we hear the clicking of canine claws approaching at a walk from the right. The legs appear in the shot and stop walking. The dog lowers himself, getting his belly hair and sheath into the frame, and we see him urinate into the grate for about 45 seconds. The stream is mostly strong, with only the last 5 or 10 seconds fading into some spurts. When he’s done, he stands fully again and continues walking out of the shot to the left.

Shot of Chip at a 90 degree angle from the previous shot, at his eye level, showing him walking confidently towards the camera through the mess (he is probably right of the center of the shot so that he’s not walking DIRECTLY into the camera). The way he walks is not jovial; he walks like he is prowling for a fight. His dominance over this space should be felt by the audience.

Shot later in his walk, set behind Chip, as he walks through a hall towards a door which opens from the middle, elevator-style. He gives a loud aggressive bark at the ceiling above the door, hair on his back raising, and the door opens without him needing to break stride. We see past him that inside this room is some kind of large room filled with piping.

At a mop sink, Chip uses a paw to push the cold water faucet, and then drinks from the resulting stream, much of the water going past him and draining into the shallow basin and drain below. Close shot of Chip’s ear, showing wiring going into it, presumably to hear comms. It is the only form of suit or technology that we see on him. After he has had a good drink, he takes a few steps, and does a big hacking cough down at the ground with intense eyes, getting speckles of water onto the cement floor. Then he shuts the faucet off, and walks out of the room.

High angle shot of Chip walking through a room midway through the walk to his next destination. The walk through this room is not drawn out, but takes enough time that the audience can question what it is that this room contains. On the floor are various bits of alien machinery, and strange symbols are burned into the surrounding floor and walls as though by sci-fi laser. Chip meanders around the machinery.

Shot of the cockpit. We hear the door (which is behind the camera) open, and hear the ticking of canine claws as Chip enters the cockpit from camera bottom. The door closes. Chip goes to the starboard pilot’s seat, hops up, and sits down, staring out into space.

Fade to Chip slumped over in the chair, facing space.

Fade to Chip slumped over the other way, facing the port pilot’s seat. Suddenly, a soft electronic bell chimes from the dash. Chip lets out an aggressive string of barks as though unwanted company is at the door. He hops down out of the starboard pilot’s seat, makes the brief walk across the cockpit (all of the hair on his back is up), and hops up into the port pilot’s seat. The electronic bell begins to chime again, but Chip interrupts it by slapping a button on the dash. When he speaks, green dots along his muzzle glow, but he does not have to move his mouth.

CHIP
Who goes there?

MATHIS
This is Captain Erick Mathis of the—

CHIP
Access to this airspace is categorically denied.

Beat.

MATHIS
Who am I speaking—

CHIP
DENIED.

Radio silence. Chip stares down at a sonar screen, which highlights easily enough where the approaching ship is coming from. Chip paws at a few buttons.

Camera lenses outside of the ship adjust.

In the cockpit, hologram displays appear around the port pilot’s seat and empty starboard pilot’s seat, showing the other craft.

Outer space shot, we can distantly-ish see the other ship, which looks to boast large amounts of cannons and such weaponry. Quickly zoom out from here and turn (movement as though it were a handheld camera) to an “over the shoulder” shot of the freighter, to establish that the other ship is a significant distance away, but all things considered not too-too far away in the vastness of space.

CHIP
You are ordered to leave this airspace.

Beat.

MATHIS some uncertainty:
Is this Captain Chick I’m speaking to?

Chip sits more upright, suddenly a bit curious instead of aggressive. After the kneejerk reaction however, he becomes weary again.

CHIP
This is Co-Captain Chip Chick.

Cut to the interior of the control room of Mathis’s craft, where several crew members are working at their individual stations, and a handful of people are working to research and feed Mathis lines. Upon hearing Chip’s affirmative answer, Mathis gives a surprised huff of a laugh to himself.

Shot of one of the analyst’s screens showing the heat signature of a dog, Chip, sitting in the freighter’s cockpit.

Mathis presses the talk button on his headset.

MATHIS
Your reputation precedes you, Captain—

CHIP distorted, as we are in Mathis’s ship now:
CO-Captain.

MATHIS blowing smoke:
Yes, co-captain. My apologies.

One of Mathis’s analysts whispers into his ear that is not occupied by the headset. Mathis pushes the talk button again when the analyst is finished.

MATHIS
You wouldn’t be looking for one Alex Chick, would you?

A string of aggressive barking comes through the headset, peaking the headset’s audio. Mathis reflexively yanks the headset away from his ear, holding it at a distance.

Cut back to the freighter’s cockpit. Chip is standing with his back legs on the port pilot’s seat, front legs on the dash, hair raised and jowls up, showing his teeth. Close up shot of the teeth, and his muzzle dots glowing as he says,

CHIP
Put him on.

Return to Mathis’s ship. Mathis is leaning in with an analyst to get the scoop.

UNDERLING
It’s our best angle. From what we know, it would be a plausible story that Alex Chick was injured before recovery, can no longer speak.

Mathis stands upright and presses the talk button. For the first portion of this line, we also get a shot of another analyst’s terminal screen which shows the wanted posters of Alex Chick and Chip Chick, for what appears to be a large sum of money.

MATHIS
As you might imagine, Alex wasn’t in the best of shape by the time we scooped him up. I’m sorry to say it. But among the damages—some frostbitten fingers and toes, some atrophied muscles—it doesn’t seem he can speak no more. But in writing, he was vehement we bring him to you.

Return to close up of Chip’s raised jowls.

CHIP
If he’s there, he’ll give our deadman’s phrase in Morse as well as he could aloud.

Return to Mathis, who is drawing a pistol. The analyst who told him the play sees this and begins to run, but stumbles over his chair and is scrambling to get back to his feet. During this, with his non-gun hand, Mathis presses the talk button.

MATHIS
Well, don’t blame a man for trying to go about things with peace and civility.

Mathis takes his hand off of the headset, turns his head towards the analyst, and shoots him in the head. Several others jump slightly, but continue about their work. One worker goes to the body and begins dragging it away, lifting under the shoulders.

MATHIS
You know you’re the first nonhuman wanted for more credits than you could buy my home planet with?

CHIP
Leave this airspace.

As Mathis goes on, we see gunners on Mathis’s ship readying their instruments, and a shot of two assassins on the exterior of the ship activating cloaking devices and then leaping off into space.

MATHIS
It is a shame that no one, yourself included it would seem, knows where that Alex got off to. What you could buy with his bounty, well, it staggers even my—

Mathis is interrupted as through the command window, we see a brief but intense energy beam shoot just astray of Mathis’s ship, followed immediately by an aggressive bark through the comms.

MATHIS
I’ll take it that was a warning shot.

CHIP
I’ll admit to you I missed. Stay right there for a second.

Mathis turns to another one of his analysts.

SECOND UNDERLING
He’s bluffing, sir. Or he’s full of himself. Our shields outclass anything that that freighter can hit us with.

MATHIS
Hm. What other leverage do we have for—

A brilliant light comes in through the window, followed a fraction of a second later by total white and the noise of a beam destroying Mathis’s ship.

Return to the freighter cockpit. Chip watches the distant explosion with a snarl.

Cut to the two assassins outside, who turn and see the ship they had just come from getting obliterated. They are still cloaked, but we can see a slight shimmer. A few pieces of debris from the ship plink off of the two, each time briefly revealing the true image around that area before the cloaking can come back. After the brilliance has cooled down and all that’s left of Mathis’s ship is a few stray bits of smoldering wreckage, one of the assassins grabs the other’s shoulder and then turns towards the freighter. The two begin towards the remaining craft, using little jet propulsions emanating from the shoulders and hip.

Return to the freighter cockpit. Chip is now sitting with apparent calmness, watching the last of the destruction of Mathis’s ship. Calmly, he hops down from the pilot’s seat, and leaves the cockpit.

High angle shots as though from surveillance videos of him going through halls of the ship.

Low shot looking into a small cell-like room with little more amenities than a bed; Chip walks into the room. With the same angle, cut forward to him midway through viciously tearing apart the mattress, its innards flying all over the small room. With the same angle, cut forward again to him leaving.

Close shot of the front of Chip focused in on his muzzle as he is walking back down the hall away from the cell; blood drips from his mouth, having injured his gums in the process of tearing the mattress apart.

Leave closeup. As he’s getting to the end of the hall, his walk slows, and then he stops. He looks down, and sees drops of his blood on the floor. He gives them a tentative sniff and then a lick, and calmly continues on.

In a medical room, Chip puts his paws up on the counter, paws open one of the drawers, takes out a syringe with his mouth, removes the covering with his mouth, and then sticks his gums and depresses the syringe. He holds still for a beat. Then he lifts his mouth off of the syringe, stands still for a moment, licks his lips, and leaves the medical room.

In an armory, Chip gets himself into a space suit. It has a cool helmet that also has a laser but we don’t know this yet uwu

Still shot of a wall in a random hallway that has laser marks burned into it. On the far left of the frame is a laser burn drawing of an exploding space ship. In the rest of the frame are laser burned tally marks, totaling in the fifties. Chip walks into the frame. Using the cool laser apparatus in his helmet he burns another tally into the wall. NOW we know that his helmet has a cool laser uwu

In the room with the mysterious alien machinery, Chip grabs a canister. His helmet has a couple of pincers, one along the left jaw and one along the right jaw, to grab things with. In this shot we get a closer look than before at some of the alien tech, and can discern based on the context of the previous shot that Chip is the one who burned the markings into the floor and walls around the alien machinery.

Shot behind Chip following him into an airlock. The interior door closes. Air hisses for a brief moment. Then, gravity goes away; Chip seems very used to this. The exterior door opens, and Chip uses small jets on his suit to navigate out to one of the artillery cannons. There, he takes out a spent alien canister, and replaces it with the one he grabbed earlier. He looks longingly out into space.

Inside, Chip gets out of his suit again.

Chip enters the captain’s quarters, a very lavish and comfortable-looking space. He hops up onto the bed, lays down on his side of the bed, and stares at a pair of leather gloves that rest on the other side of the bed.

Cut to white. Fade into the next scene, in the same way we did earlier to look at a part of Alex’s history. Now it’s time to see some of Chip’s past. We montage through several scenes, brief insights into Chip’s life before now.

Puppy Chip and several other puppies suckling on his mother.

Close shot of puppy Chip being held in the hands of a human who is walking.

Puppy Chip under anesthetic, having his vocal implants put into his muzzle.

Puppy Chip is awake, and chewing on a plush toy in the middle of a nondescript room. A salt and pepper bearded man in a lab coat sits in a plastic chair on one side of the room; the man presses a button on a remote control, and causes Chip’s vocal apparatus to light up green, and for his voice to say “Ma Ma.” Chip recoils, and paws at his muzzle confusedly. He stands alert for it to happen again. The man in the lab coat does press the button again, causing the voice to sound again. Puppy Chip barks at the voice, which is very cute. The lab coat man changes the settings by pressing a different button, and then presses the main button again, now causing a single “Ma.” Puppy Chip waits, and then tilts his head. The button is pressed again. Puppy Chip waits. The button is pressed again. Puppy Chip barks. The button is pressed again. Puppy Chip hesitates a moment, and then of his own volition, says the second “Ma” with the apparatus. The button is pressed again, and this time Puppy Chip says the second “Ma” immediately. Puppy Chip then begins babbling, to the effect of, “Ma, Ba, Ma, Ma, Da, Na, Ma, Ma.” He is wagging and trying to turn his head to look at his muzzle and appears to be very pleased to be making these sounds. The scientist makes a note on a paper on a clipboard.

Puppy Chip lying in the corner in a different nondescript room. There is a toy nearer to the center of the room that he is not playing with. The door opens, and in the doorway stands Alex, younger and better put together than we have seen him at present. Incidentally he is wearing the leather gloves that Chip was staring at on the bed in the freighter; Alex is wearing the gloves in the majority of the rest of these scenes as well. Alex crouches down, and offers out a hand in a friendly manner. Puppy Chip does not approach. Alex playfully lowers himself to be lying down flat on his chest, putting himself at Puppy Chip’s level, and begins crawling towards Puppy Chip, keeping flat to the ground. Puppy Chip begins to wag, and cautiously makes an approach towards Alex as well. Alex extends out his gloved hand. Puppy Chip, rather than sniffing it, goes straight to puppy attack mode and bites a finger, and pounces and paws at the hand as he noms. Shot of Alex joyfully smiling at the aggressive little biter.

Some time later, Chip is still young but not a puppy-puppy. Alex holds out two closed hands side by side to Chip. Chip sniffs each hand and paws at one of them. Alex opens both hands to reveal that Chip ‘guessed’ correctly which hand was holding a treat. Chip eats the treat and wags.

Chip and Alex running side by side through an obstacle course, each of them bounding over slopes and hurdles and similar. We can see in the background that there are other human-dog pairings doing similar training on other obstacles.

Chip and Alex out in the woods, Alex lying relaxed on his chest right nearby Chip, who is lying on his chest as well but in a more ready-to-leap-up-at-any-moment way. Chip’s ears tilt towards some tittering birds. Here we see a thing that Alex and Chip turn out to do a lot, especially as Chip was learning to speak English, which is that one of them will say something, and then the other will repeat it, imitating the tone, and the two of them will say the same phrase back and forth to each other a few times.

ALEX
Listening to the birds, Chip?

CHIP
Listening to the birds Chip.

ALEX
Listening to the birds Chip.

CHIP
Listening to the birds Chip.

Next cut, Chip strapped to Alex’s chest, Alex standing in an airplane with a hand on the bar that runs along the ceiling, his hair rippling in the wind. Alex approaches the open door, clutches Chip protectively, and skydives out of the plane. Shot from far overhead as though still on the plane, looking down as a parachute deploys safely.

Chip and Alex running obstacles again, this time helping each other as well, Alex throwing Chip up over walls, Chip scrambling and then leaping off the other side, Alex catching him there and the two of them continuing to run on.

A series of face-down cups lined up, covering contents that Chip has to identify. At each one, he gives it a sniff, says what is underneath, gets a pat from Alex, and they move on to the next one. Chip barely still has puppyish features. When they’ve gone through the whole line of them, Alex crouches down and gives Chip a big praising rub.

ALEX
You’re killing it man.

CHIP trotting at the praise:
Killing it man.

ALEX
Yeah you are.

Chip and Alex jumping out of the plane again, this time they are still connected together with climbing rope, but Alex holds Chip instead of Chip being strapped tight to Alex’s chest. Chip looks to be an adult dog at this point. A couple of other human-dog pairings can be seen in the plane as well, on deck to jump after Alex and Chip. Alex exits the door, holding Chip tightly. Cut to a shot from near Alex’s feet looking up at him and Chip, floating down, chute already safely deployed. Alex holds Chip tight. Chip is wagging and licking Alex’s face, and after a moment Alex gives in and reciprocates some of Chip’s kisses.

Chip and Alex running obstacles. This time Alex has a pistol, and is shooting targets along the way. Chip assists by calling targets out to Alex before Alex has gotten to them, and Alex keeps Chip in the loop, telling him after each set of shots that the targets are “down.”

Chip and Alex on a cutesy little picnic, sitting there with a basket at the edge of a field, near some woods. Other human-dog pairs are playing and training in the distance. The sun is shining. Alex does not have his gloves on in this scene.

ALEX
Beautiful day out.

CHIP
Yeah, it’s a wonderful day. The heat brings out smells in ways that are surreal sometimes.

Alex has a submarine sandwich in his hands, loaded with pepperonis and other slices of meat. He tears off a big piece of it and offers it over to Chip in his palm. Chip scarfs it down, wagging.

Birds titter.

CHIP
Listening to the birds.

ALEX
Listening to the birds.

Alex tears off another piece and gives it to Chip, who again accepts it happily. Alex takes a big bite for himself now too.

Alex sets the sandwich down between them, not worried in the slightest that Chip is going to take it. Even if Chip did take it he wouldn’t be bothered. Reaching into the basket, Alex takes out a plastic bag with some cooked pieces of bacon in it. He takes one piece out and hands it to Chip. Chip gobbles it up in snapping bites. Alex takes out a second piece and offers it to Chip too. Chip grabs the end of it with his mouth; Alex lets go; Chip doesn’t eat it, and continues to hold it in his mouth. He looks at Alex and wags. Alex is amused, thinking that Chip is asking for permission to eat it for some reason.

ALEX
You can have it.

CHIP
YOU can have it.

Alex gives a little huff of a laugh that is both amused and also impressed at how suave this dog is. He leans in and grabs the bacon with his mouth; Chip releases the bacon; Alex eats the bacon, and then when he’s swallowed, the two share a kiss. Alex takes another bite of his sandwich, and as he’s chewing, tears off another piece for Chip, which Chip gobbles up as enthusiastically as before.

Briefly, Alex and Chip swimming, just for fun.

Briefly, Alex and Chip out on a walk through town in matching red safety vests, the both of them walking with confidence and charm through the bustle.

Briefly, a little lawn on the campus; Alex sitting cross-legged and tossing a rope toy up into the air for Chip, who catches it and hands it back to him.

Alex and Chip sitting down for a rest off to the side of some hiking trail. Alex is drenched in sweat, and nearby is a large backpack. Alex sits with his back against a sandstone rockface, slumped down far enough that he can comfortably drape his arm over Chip, who is lying down beside him. Chip tilts his head towards an airplane that is flying across the sky in the distance.

ALEX exhausted:
I love you Chip.

Chip wags very intensely, even as the rest of his body language remains calm.

CHIP
I love you too, Alex.

ALEX
You’re the best friend I ever had.

Alex gives Chip’s scruff a little rub.

A cozy room in a log cabin lit by fireplace. Here we see Alex unclothed on his elbows and knees, assuming the position; the shot can either show everything, or frame down to only show Alex from the torso forward. In either case, we see Chip put himself on top of Alex and mount him, grabbing him and beginning to hump, penetrating Alex; Alex is entirely pleased to be taking it, and is lost in euphoria as Chip goes about his business.

Afterwards, Chip gets off of Alex and turns around, and the two are stuck ass to ass. Alex is panting. The two chat, probably cutting back and forth to whoever is speaking.

ALEX
panting.

CHIP
Heh. Hey Alex.

ALEX
Yeah friend?

CHIP
My big fat dog cock is buried in your human crap hole.

ALEX amused:
Yeah. Yeah it is, Chip.

CHIP
That’s pretty fun. I had a lot of fun.

ALEX
Heh. Yeah, me too.

CHIP
There must be so much cum in there. I busted so hard, oh my god.

ALEX
happy, panting.

White fade back to Chip lying on the bed in the captain’s quarters, chin planted on the sheets, looking at Alex’s leather gloves. Chip closes his eyes to go to sleep.

Outside, visible by their shimmer, the two assassins continue floating through space towards the freighter. Nothing develops at this moment, this is only a reminder that they are there. We turn away from them, and out into space.

Fade to an establishing shot of the jet.

Cut to inside of the cockpit. Alex is at the port pilot’s seat, looking at his radar display on his forearm. Sebastian is handcuffed to a pipe nearby to where Alex made his coffee earlier. Sebastian has a fruity mixed drink with a decorative umbrella sticking out of it. He sips on it with a straw.

Looking down at Alex’s wrist, we see that he’s very near to the pulsing dot.

Alex speaks over his shoulder back to Sebastian.

ALEX
We’re about to exit the current. Should be smooth, but, fair warning and all that.

Sebastian toasts Alex with his drink.

SEBASTIAN
You seem like a very capable pirate, I trust you completely.

Alex flicks a few switches, uses the controls, and then through the windshield we see that we are suddenly within a star’s solar system.

Alex stands, walks over to the starboard pilot’s seat, and leans over a button. He presses it repeatedly, sending a phrase in Morse.

At the freighter, we see the pulsing light on the antenna stop pulsing and become a solid green, and see some lights on a dashboard in the cockpit become less intense, signaling that security is lowered.

As he’s nearing the end of the transmission, Alex says under his breath what the transmission is.

ALEX
Reveille, Reveille. Listening to the birds, Chip.

Exterior shot of the jet.

Cut back to the freighter, where outside, the two assassins reach the hull. They turn down the cloaking on their suits to fifty percent. One of them places a disk onto the outside of the hull, which affixes to it via magnet. A semi-transparent mucky goo begins expanding outwards from the disk, clinging in a bubble to the side of the ship. The other assassin takes out a space knife, doing a cool spinning flourish with it; she puts her hand into the goo, and begins cutting a triangular hole into the hull. We can cut forward a little bit to when the cut is finished. The assassin who placed the disk grabs a handle on it, and pulls out the triangular piece, which floats around inside of the goo once free. The two assassins, whose names are Melody and Skinner, go through the goo and into the freighter’s interior.

We get an extremely brief overview of both of their backstories as they enter the ship.

As they enter the ship’s gravity, Melody’s foot hits the ground, and we see three flashes of her past: a shot of her as a little girl, silhouetted as she watches her village engulfed in flame; a shot of her only slightly older, she has two prominent scars across her face, and is currently sparring against someone else with a sword, with impressive speed and technique; a shot of her as an adult taking a ticket out of a machine and then walking towards a space ship which stands looming in the distance.

Next, Skinner’s foot hits the ground, and we see three flashes of her past: on a city street, her friend is arguing with a man and it’s getting physical, when Skinner calmly points a pistol and shoots the man in the head; Skinner in a prison cell, matter of factly straightening her guard uniform in the mirror, as behind her we can see the bloodied body of the guard who she just got it off of; Melody in a space ship’s cafeteria sitting alone, luggage at her side, dressed goth with her prominent facial scars and leaning back on her chair as she sips a juice box, Skinner walks past, pauses, goes back and forth on whether or not to double back, and then does double back and sit across from Melody.

In the freighter hull, Melody takes out a remote and presses a button on it. The disk outside whirs, and the grey goo sucks the triangular piece back into place on the hull; the goo fizzles and sears the piece back on.

Skinner places a hand on Melody’s shoulder and leans in close to talk with her, even though it does seem that their suits have linked up comms.

SKINNER
Let’s take our time with this one and find out what we’ve stumbled onto. The bounty on that dog is a fortune, but there’s an aura of mystery tells me they’re using a fortune to cheat us out of nirvana.

Melody and Skinner do a brief cool handshake, and then turn and begin stealthing their way through the ship.

Back at the jet, Alex pilots the craft into the freighter’s docking bay. Emphasis is placed on the touchdown.

Alex uncuffs Sebastian, and is quick about backstepping away from him afterwards, putting himself closer to the exit. With a groan, Sebastian stiffly stands up, and then stretches, and then gives Alex a big, probably fake grin.

SEBASTIAN
Need anything else from me before you go? Cup of sugar? Word of advice?

Alex is already backstepping towards the door.

ALEX
Thanks for the ride, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN
Of course, Alex, how could I have said no?

Alex steps down out of the jet, and begins jogging. He presses his forearm display and then speaks into it as he continues.

ALEX
Reveille, Reveille. Listening to the birds, Chip.

In the captain’s quarters, Chip snaps out of a dead sleep straight up onto his feet.

CHIP
ALEX!

Now jogging his way through a hall, tears are coming to Alex’s eyes as he responds.

ALEX
Good to hear your voice again, friend. Race you to the mess.

With that Alex drops down into a full sprint. Cutting back and forth between Alex and Chip as they sprint towards the freighter’s mess hall, as a 90s alternative rock jam begins; In the Meantime by Spacehog or similar; this is probably the first music we have heard in the show.

Chip and Alex enter the mess hall from opposite sides and sprint into each other’s arms, Chip leaping onto Alex and licking him and Alex sitting there on the ground and giving Chip frantic rubs and praise. We do not hear what they are saying to each other, the visuals and the soundtrack convey the sentiment of it.

Chip and Alex hug each other, Alex wrapping his arms tight around Chip, and Chip throwing his paws over Alex’s shoulders and clinging too; Chip continues licking, licking the back of Alex’s neck.

With the song continuing to play, we get a montage of Chip and Alex doing work around the ship.

Alex sweeping up dog hair off of the cockpit floor as Chip sits in the starboard pilot’s seat watching.

Alex working on wiring in a wall panel, Chip helps by holding tools. Overhead lights that had been out come back on. Chip wags.

Chip and Alex in a cargo room making out. Over the shoulder shot of Melody and Skinner in the air vents overhead watching.

In the docking bay (shot such that we don’t know if the jet has left or not), Alex tossing a rope toy up, and Chip catching it and handing it back a couple times.

In a workout room, Alex doing pushups, and then Chip runs up and starts humping him. They are probably just playing, and they also probably already took care of that particular business off camera by this point, but in any case we don’t see what does or does not happen from there in the workout room at that time.

Chip and Alex making out in a pipe room.

Chip and Alex making out near a window.

Chip and Alex making out on a table in the mess.

Music fades a bit, but continues to play in the background. Chip and Alex are straight chilling in the cockpit, Alex in the port pilot’s seat, Chip in the starboard pilot’s seat. Alex has his feet up on the dashboard and is idly doing something with his hands, perhaps shuffling a deck of cards or twirling a pen.

ALEX
All this time, and you stayed pretty much in the same place. Didn’t move on with the journey.

CHIP
No. Of course I stayed here.

ALEX
Why’s that?

CHIP
I knew you were coming back.

Alex tosses aside whatever he was doing, crosses the cockpit, and goes to his knees beside Chip’s seat. The two do a big smooch, and then we cut to black.

As a sort of epilogue, Chip does some voice over teasing the next episode.

Panning shots of the freighter’s exterior.

CHIP (VO)
In the next episode: how DID these two dashing men end up with a freighter all to themselves? I’ll give you a hint, it’s stolen, and the cargo isn’t just bolts and frozen hamburgers. Also, who are these two others I’ve been smelling around the ship? Why hasn’t Sebastian left?

Skinner stealing a bag of chips from a pantry.

Sebastian leaning against his jet in the docking bay, smoking a cigarette.

Panning exterior shots again.

CHIP continued:
How much dog cum WOULD fit in Alex’s ass if I could bust forever? Gallons? Infinity? These are the questions. The answers, may or may not be forthcoming.









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Most within To Thine Own Self Be Zoo written by Eggshell Ghosthearth.

This website contains works of literature, including narrative fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. Within this literature, any resemblances to any existing copyrighted materials, trademarks, or persons is completely coincidental, or is used for artistic purposes within the bounds of Public Domain, Fair Use, or Public Figure Status. Much of the literature on this site contains themes of sexuality, though is at no point intended to be pornographic. To Thine Own Self Be Zoo is a personal project and is not a for-profit endeavor.