To Thine Own Self Be Zoo


Volume 1
Issue 1
Issue 2
Issue 3
Issue 4
Issue 5
Issue 6
Issue 7
Issue 8
Issue 9
Issue 10
Issue 11
Issue 12
Issue α

Volume 2
Issue 1
Issue β
Issue 2
Issue 3
Issue 4

Volume 3
-Issue 1-


Volume 3,
Issue 1


Media of Unknown Origin

Jason, I Do Not Know It Yet

The Invention

Treat, Jack, Halcateon

Questions

Poems





The Invention



GUK
Duuuuude, this is a SICK cave painting.

MUHBUH
Thank you, thank you.

GUK
I love the way you kept your fingers TOGETHER before pressing your hand on the wall.

MUHBUH
Mixin it up, you know?

Gohgok enters, running.

GOHGOK
Guys! Guys!

Guk and Muhbuh sigh.

MUHBUH
Hey Gohgok.

Gohgok shows Guk and Muhbuh what he has in his hands. He has FIRE in his hands, like, a stick on fire, or a bunch of sticks, or some type of fire.

GOHGOK
Look!

GUK grossed out:
Yugh.

MUHBUH
Why are you HOLDING that?

GOHGOK very excited:
I invented FIRE!

GUK
I mean, you didn’t “invent” fire, you DISCOVERED fire.

GOHGOK
Oh okay, I see that YOU, Guk, just invented being an unappreciative dick.

GUK
Ha, no I actually got that from Sog-gog!
(calling to another caveman, while pointing a thumb at Gohgok:)
Sog-gog, sick invention, this is great!

SOG-GOG far away:
Whatever!

GUK
Hahaha, I love that guy.

MUHBUH
Dude put that away, that smells.

GOHGOK
Guys I think this one is a big deal, and you’re not, fully appreciating what this could do for us.

Grugnug enters with a WOLF, running.

GUK and MUHBUH bro-y, happy to see Grugnug:
Grugnug!

GRUGNUG
Guys! Guys!

MUHBUH
What’s up, dude?

GRUGNUG kinda frantic:
Me and this wolf, Mega Man, who I’ve been sharing my food with,

GUK
Dude he is sooo into that, giving food to a wolf is a great invention.

GRUGNUG
Well I think, relatedly, well, just, look!

Grugnug starts giving Mega Man a handjob, Mega Man is immediately on board they did this just earlier and Mega Man wants round 2.

Guk and Muhbuh are puzzled.

GUK
Okay, you’re like, touching around where his back legs are?

MUHBUH
Mega Man is on top of him.

Grugnug is really giving this wolf a good time with a handjob combined with oral. When Mega Man is done humping, Grugnug turns the penis so that it’s backwards, like it would be if Mega Man were knotted post-sex with a she wolf.

Grugnug looks back and forth between the other cavemen and the wolf penis.

Guk and Muhbuh point excitedly.

GUK
Grugnug invented wolf dicks!

MUHBUH
This is the best invention I’ve ever seen.

GOHGOK
Okay, well, he didn’t INVENT wolf dicks, I think Grugnug DISCOVERED wolf dicks.

GUK to Grugnug:
Okay, Grugnug: Did you INVENT wolf dicks, or DISCOVER wolf dicks?

GRUGNUG
I think, uh. I think I invented wolf dicks.

GUK to Gohgok:
Grugnug invented wolf dicks.

GOHGOK
You guys suck.

GUK
I. Wanna suck on that wolf dick.

MUHBUH
Dude I call second.

GRUGNUG
There’s plenty of room for both of ya on this thing, come on down.

GOHGOK
Okay well I’m gonna go make more fire.

MUHBUH
Yeah whatever I don’t care.

GUK
Wolf diiiiiiiick!

MUHBUH begins a chant, and then others quickly get on board:

CHANT
Wolf dick, wolf dick, wolf dick, wolf dick,

The chant continues as Guk and Muhbuh begin blowing the wolf together.









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Most within To Thine Own Self Be Zoo written by Eggshell Ghosthearth.

This website contains works of literature, including narrative fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. Within this literature, any resemblances to any existing copyrighted materials, trademarks, or persons is completely coincidental, or is used for artistic purposes within the bounds of Public Domain, Fair Use, or Public Figure Status. Much of the literature on this site contains themes of sexuality, though is at no point intended to be pornographic. To Thine Own Self Be Zoo is a personal project and is not a for-profit endeavor.